End of another week! Time flies and soon next wk will be week 3!! Which means ive only 7 more wks with the bcps kids :( :( :(

Im going to sound so incoherent but I REALLY LUV MY KIDS. I love playing with them and teaching them new things (when they listen), but i just dont think im that cut out to be a good TEACHER. Cos i realised that to be a good teacher, you need to sacrifice being their friend. Which i dont think i am able to :'(

Really, i can just talk about my kids THE WHOLE DAY. The p1s, 1/2, 1/3, 1/5, 1/6, 1/7 kids, p2s, 2/2, 2/5, 2/7, 2/8 kids, p4s, 4/1, 4/2, 4/3, 4/4, 4/5, 4/7 kids, and the only p3 class, 3/7. HAHAHAH. Okay p3s are the hardest to handle. I conclude. Cos theyre like a mixture of p1s and p4s........... Childish yet rebellious. Damn hard to control. Have to teach them recorder for the remaining 7wks. Wish me luckzzzz.

Im really scared the memories i have with the kids will slowly fade away as i grow older and busier :( Omg im starting to dread/feel sad alr. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. But all humans have to move on in life dont we. After a few years, they'll all be teens and i really really wonder how they'll be like and if they'll even have a slight memory that there was once a 'Miss Park' who played and taught them. Haha.

I know! Maybe i shd use this place to note down interesting things i encounter with the kids every day or smthng :D This way in the future i can still come ovr here and embark in blissful nostalgia hehe.

Ok today. Maybe in point form.

1) Gave out test, walked arnd 4/1 4/2 and 4/3. First time seeing them doing smthng SO SERIOUSLY, like every single person. Guess thats the feeling our teachers get back in our own schooling days heh. Esp the usual jokers like Gary Tsan, Emmanuel, Princeton, Jetrickson etc., i really feel damn TOUCHED when theyre serious LOLOLOL. But after they finish they become monkeys again -.- -.- -.-

2) DARRENLIM!!!! Ryan's brother in 1/6, took their class just now cos Andrea had to take my 2/5 for choir auditions. HE IS SO CUTE AND BLUR LA!!!!!!!!! And he totally looks like Ryan though theyre 3 yrs apart. Darren is so small and cute and his eyes are small and just SO charimastic in the very blur way LOL. Even June also thinks hes damn cute HAHAHAHAHAHHA. Shanice (darren's twin) is sho cute too omg i luv the 3 siblings hahaha i wonder how their parents look like hmmmmmm.

3) Aiman. LOL. Sigh. I still feel extremely sad whenever i think / talk about him. It's just SO UNFAIR he's in such a screwed up family with screwed up parents :( Andrea was telling me, his siblings (he has about 2 sisters and 3 brothers) could take the blow of their parents divorcing and stuff but Aiman is the youngest so he couldnt take it. Then he would always say that he wna go bck to msia where his mom is. That is just super sad. Considering he is SUCH a problem kid. Sigh. He is not learning at all. He doesnt want to learn and stuff. The only way to keep him out of trouble is to sayang him. Which i did at first cos i realised hes that kind of kid. But then the problem gets worse. In a sense that he becomes SO ATTACHED to you that he starts telling you that he loves you and that you're his girlfriend :( For a p2, he knows too many things. Too many bad things, in fact. Just two days ago at class, he started swearing and shouting "fuck!!!!! fuckkkkkkkkkkkk" everywhere when obv he doesnt even knw what it means. And one time, he called me "eh you stupid bitch. you beeeetch". The only reaction was O.O and jaw drop. Omg. Where the hell did he learn such stuffs??? WHAT KIND OF PARENTS DO HE HAVE UH. I felt SO sad and even felt damn bad for being helpless. Like i can only see him like this every day and not be able to do anything about it........... At least Khairul is ABIT better but i think he still influences Aiman in the wrong way :( I think they're being abused also. Cos Aiman IS SUPER VIOLENT, maybe thats how he expresses himself. And i could see injury marks on his arms / legs. I can only pray that he wont be led further astray (cos i seriously think he has quite a bit of potential to break the law and stuff when he grows up)

4) So much much more kids, TimTan, zhuzhu, Jayven, blah........ I guess i enjoy kids coming up to me so innocently and telling me stuffs, i feel needed and they could rely on me :) I wish im the sister of all of them HAHAHAHAHHA. Even Youming (2/8, gekyong's hated class haha), when he cried today and came up to me like so poor thing and so wronged, i almost wanted to cry tgth with him LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Yeah stuffs like that.

5) OK I LUV CUTE BOYS, HAHAHAHAHHAA. I am no pedo! I just find little boys soooooooooooo cute. Girls are super cute too but i still prefer boys :p Maybe cos im a female? LOL ok PLS REALLY IM NO PEDO/PERV. I still hate certain boys like the ZAVIER TEO who claims im the worst teacher and that he hates me. HMMPH. Back to my cute boys. Like the little p1s omggggg sho cutezxzxzx like Jared Low!!!!!!! And Zahirulaq. HEHEHEHEHEHHE. I swear i must take all of their photos and rmbr all of their names LOL. So that i can stalk them on fb in a few yrs' time HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. I AM KRAZYYYYYYYYY. Then the older boys, wah alot rlly damn cute+shuai like cfm plus chop grow up damn goodlooking one whootwhooot.

OK enough of all these craziness.

Serious stuff, yest was my SMU Acct interview and i HONESTLY DO NOT KNOW how it'd turn out. Like not much clue. Cos it wasnt say a good attempt, nor a bad one. Wahlao eh why my life always like that. Sian. Now i just need to prayyyyy for acceptance letter to come pls!!!! plsplsplsplspls. And NTU ACCEPTANCE LETTER TOOOOOOOOOOO.

What if i CANNOT GET INTO ANY UNI?!?!!!!!!

Last resort would be going to NIE.