)): scholars leaving this sunday laa!

so dumb. how can do this to me. EVERYONE is leaving before me. (except gwentan, hur hur)

had a really small talk with liying in the morning.
guess she knows how i feel luh. dont think it's because she's a scholar and im not that's why we're already drifting so far apart. i guess many other stuff affected this also laa.
we dont crap anymore. she's progressing. im not. i dont feel like i belong anywhere.
man i dont even know what the hell im talking about. i feel lousy now. shitass.

and my parents didnt really get all worked up and stuff over my horrible results :/
just my mom 念 abit lor. but. i think my dad totally give up on me alr -.- so expected luh.
he can go cram all his big wishes onto my brother luh, since he's such kickass more smarter than me even though he's only 8 -.- seriously. his general knowledge is like omfg.

im not blaming my dad or bro or wtvr luh. i think i suck alot luh -.-

people's applying for smp, crapping wtvr strengths they have for the wtvr shit thing while i couldnt care less. i say i have 自知之明, i know my limits pls. smp is impossible for me. but if i really ask myself again, i'd say im afraid of failure loh. no hopes equals to no disappointments. totally true can.

the most is i chiong for sec four and go for the other programme in july. hopefully by then everything'll work out :/
what if i still suck. grah.

have to redo chinese proposal. totally dumb. our group only one frigging person going china laa:/
shyt luh long time never emo at this blog liao -.- totally amusing.

oh well. at least there's cca tmr. im forever looking forward to cca cause it really brings me to another world and i can totally escape reality. not exactly a right mindset, but at least it helps for that period of time -.-

and spain is tentative. concert at school audi is tentative. concert at esplanade is tentative.
GRAH.

newzealand trip you better come soon! another 10 days away from reality. harhar ._.

these few days was having the enviornmental science conference at school. totally SIAN. but at least the closing ceremony was nice laa. cause of the theatre club play -.-
yea.
i bet more than half of the adult speakers from the conference failed their speech during schooldays. their speech skills, im totally WOW THAT'S EXCELLENT I CANT HEAR A FRIGGING WORD YOU'RE SAYING.

-.-

and yesterday the three ri groups was err. if they had speech skills as sucky as the adults, i'd have cursed them for wasting my time. though it totally exceeded the time, but at least they were good. especially one of the sec two groups. haha. damn cute laa.

sian tomorrow last school day with the scholars
)): im gonna miss chentian and liying and ahguo and JIALER MY LAOGONG and everyone else!

life IS unfair.